Do you miss me ? Do you still love me?

I’m in the need of writing. Right now my mind needs it. I need to pour my heart out cause right know I don’t know how the hell to stop crying and shaking.

Two years into the relationship I wished for. Two years into loving like I never loved before. Two years into giving out my heart to her. Why do I miss you more than you miss me? Why do I feel like we are falling apart. My heart can’t take this…

So, let me explain some things first:

• I was living with her for a couple of months but her family had some problems on the house so we recently moved to my mom’s house until we find an apartment.
• Right now she has a full time job and I have a part time job.
• She works on the day and I work on the night so we barely have time together.

So that gets me to where we are right now…
I miss her like hell, but the little time we have she wants to sleep because she has to get early for work. I get that. I totally do but is it too hard to give me 30 minutes of your time? I miss you baby. I miss you like hell. I only see you sleeping, I barely can tell you how my shift went or ask how yours went, how are you feeling? I miss you, do you miss me ? Do you miss me while you are at work? Cause I can’t stop thinking about you. I still feel the same love as I did in the beginning. Why I feel you so far away ? We live together but it feels like you are miles away. Can you tell me what’s happening?

Wow ! Almost a year !

It’s almost a year that I’m with the most amazing girl !

I know that I’m not writing anymore but I felt like it was time to get back to writing cause it’s one of my passions and it really relaxes me. To my old readers, I apologize. And my oh my… it really feels GOOD to be writing again ! So let’s get started…

My anniversary is coming… I really can’t believe it ! When I started going out with her, I used to spend a lots of time on my computer writing about her and daydreaming about her and right know that it’s almost a year that I’ve been with her… I don’t regret anything ! I’m still truly, deeply in love and I believe she’s too ! Like I’ve I said before, we are like every couple, we have our ups and downs but we hang on to each other.

A lot have happened:

• Now my mom really likes her. On Christmas Vacation, my mom agreed for me to stay at her house for almost 2 weeks and then my mom let her to stay at my house. So it’s been pretty great with that.
• My brother loves her, well they love each other, they spend HOURS playing video games together. I have to admit that sometimes I get jealous cause they ignore me, but I still love them.
• Her dad knows that we are together but he doesn’t like to talk about it, but the REAL PROBLEM is her grandmother from her dad’s side. I don’t really know her and I already can’t stand her. Yesterday she told her that she wanted to follow her to know where I live. Let me tell you some things about her: She’s very religious, she pretends that she can “change” my girlfriend and ruin our relationship. She hates me.

But despite all the problems, I’m extremely happy with my girlfriend and our relationship. Not that I’m a “love expert” but if one thing that I have learn to have a stable relationship is to COMMUNICATE. When there’s issues, you just have to talk about it calmly.

Oh I almost forgot to say that my anniversary is on Valentine’s Day and I want to do something really special but guess what… I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I have brainstorming but nothing convinces me.

PS: You don’t know the satisfactions that I really feel of writing again. I had done a lots of drafts but I never wanted to post and I don’t know why.

So don’t forget to be true to yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe in love. And if you’re from the LGBT community, don’t give up and at the end you’ll see it was all worth it ♥

Where did I went wrong?

Oh wow … long time no see (or write/read) ! Well, people remember that I got a new girlfriend (I talked about her on my last post)? Then let me tell you that we have been together for six months (7 soon) now. She and my mom already met, we have had many obstacle but we still together, we went to camping for our six months celebration (a small honeymoon).

But now, I don’t know what else think, do, or say !!!
Let me explain…

Like a month ago I stayed at her house for a couple of days because my mom had a vacation trip so we decided that I could stayed at my girlfriend’s house cause I would be alone at my house, then a few weeks ago we went camping together. But now she wants me to stay at home more often. But now she wants me to stay at her house more often, but the problem is… MY MOM. You know the stupid rule your parents say when you reach 18+ and still live with them “MY HOUSE, MY RULES”. Well my mom has that rule and it drives me crazy, and why we don’t move out together, you ask? Well, we both lost our jobs and we can’t afford anything. So back to parents…
So my mom always comes with that stupid rule, so I have to say no to my girlfriend every time she ask me to stay and she gets very pissed off. And last week we had a huge fight because of that, so I had to talk to my mom but today when I called my mom to inform her that I would be stay at my girlfriend’s house, she got very mad and said that she wanted to talk to my girlfriend so I passed the phone to her and my mom said exactly the same thing to her, and I quote “As long as she lives at my house she has to follow my rules” So when she hanged out the phone, my girlfriend all of the sudden looked at me so pissed.

So the big question is “WHERE THE F%#k DID I WENT WRONG?”
I did what she asked me to, I told my mom I was staying with her. And after all, guess what? MY MOM SAID YES!! So should’t we be making out and not being sitting on the bed with long faces?

Shit happens …

I’m sorry folks, for my vocabulary but I’m extremely mad right now, why? You asked, well let me tell you…

As you know I have an amazing girlfriend but lately it’s been so hard to see each other 😥 The colleges in here doesn’t have dormitories so you have to stay with your parents or find a job and rent a house or buy a house or stay with other relatives or/and friends. So I live with my mom and my girlfriend lives with her mom. Her mom is really cool with our relationship, and I have a great relationship with her, she even defends me if my girlfriend and I fight. Everything’s looks great, right? But the problem is my mom !

When I first came out to my mom she was cool about cause she saw it coming, and she told me that she was going to support me no matter what, well that was bullshit, cause right now she is taking care of ruin our relationship. She doesn’t want me to go out with her, when we are on the webcam she gives me a ton of chores, when I spend more time in college she calls me telling (screaming) me that “I know you are with her, COME HOME RIGHT NOW” She even put me a curfew, I have to be home at 10 pm. Me, a college girl, is grounded and with curfew. And she keeps telling me “My house, my rules” so I have to live with this or move away, but I can’t move out yet. So I’m stuck here for a while with this dumb rules. My mom and I used to have a great relationship but since I am dating a girl things has changed, now I am in a living hell.
Well, when I’m with my girlfriend I feel so happy but when I have to go home I get sad. Right now, my girlfriend is getting frustrated with all this shit and I don’t want her to give up … I was afraid of this … it was too good to be truth … and now I see the reality. I ain’t giving up, she has everything I was looking for, so no I’m not letting her go. I don’t believe in that bullshit “If you love something let it go …”! The day she asked me to be her girlfriend, I promised her that I’m never gonna give up no matter what so I’m gonna do that I’m gonna keep fighting cause the thing we have it’s very special !

It is very difficult to be different in a world where people is used to live in monotony.

Songs that describes my feelings right now:
Perfect – Simple Plan

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

We must understand…

We must understand that we are two totally different generations. When the current generation replaces the previous, things will be different, this is a complete change and some people do not accept that. Each generation has the same problem, so why do not we open our minds?

Every loving couple should have the right to be happy anywhere in the world. It’s sad to see people asking for peace when they judge the happiness of others.

Things you should know about my girlfriend and I

This is something different from my other posts. So this is an exception, just wanted to tell you stuff about my girlfriend and I. This way you will understand further posts. So here it is …

Things about my girlfriend and I:

• We met on a hallway of the college.
• We have the same age.
• We live like 10 min apart (in car)
• We speak on Spanglish (a combination of Spanish and English)
• I have a great relationship with her mom, but she haven’t met mine.
• We both want twelve babies, but she wants all boys and one girl cause I want a girl. HAHA
• I love the color pink, but she hates it.
• We both love Converse.
• I’m a “Paramore”, she’s a “Simple Plan”
• I love candy so muuuuch, but she hates it. So more candy for me. HAHA
• She’s a gamer and I don’t even know how to play.
• I’m an NBA person, she’s an WWE person.
• When we go to eat anywhere she knows that I always drink Sprite.
• We both love Chihuahuas, and we both have one.
• I’m sweet but she’s so crazy (but in a good way)
• We both have crazy friends.
• She talks very fast, I talk slowly.
• We both love “The Big Bang Theory” & “Grey’s Anatomy”
• We are huge fans of Ellen DeGeneres.
• We tell each other everything.
• If we have a problem, we try to solve it right away.
• When we can’t see each other, we Skype.
• We are big fans of movies.
• I love being in her house cause I feel very peaceful in there.
• And the most important thing … We love each other ♥

I still can’t believe she’s my girlfriend, I’m having the time of my life with her !

PS: To all my readers, I apologize for taking too long to write. I’ve been busy, but I’ll try to write more often, my girlfriend likes to read my blog too so I’m gonna write more.

Babe if you are reading this … TE AMO (I LOVE YOU) !

For the love of my life …

Dear love …
Since I met you my life changed for good. I never been this happy before. This feels like a dream, I can’t believe that you are mine and I am yours. I am having the time of my life with you. I’ll do anything for you, I’ll fight for our love and that is a promise. I am going to be there always for you. When you get sick I feel like half of me is damaged. When we hold hands I feel like nothing can ever happened to me. When we kiss I feel like the rest of the world stops. When we aren’t together I feel empty. I want to see the world with you. I don’t want to let you go. I want you in my life forever. In other words … You are my everything.

I need you. I miss you. I love you.

Love Has Arrived ♥

In my last post I said that I wanted to date a girl and I met one …

Well before I broke up with my ex, I met a nice girl at college and we started to hang out. After I broke up with him I noticed we had a special bond, and every time she asked “Is there someone you like?” I started to blush, so I said to myself “You really like her“. (Maybe you think is too fast to start a new relationship, but in the last one I didn’t felt anything at all.) A couple of days later she asked me out for Valentine’s Day, she was very nervous and so was I. On Fridays she works at the library so when I’m out of class, I go there to spend some time with her. So we went out on a Saturday to the movies with some of my friends. They all made jokes and talked very quickly, and my friends approved her, so I was very happy. Then came Valentine’s day, we gave each others gifts at college, then we went to the local mall, we went to our favorite stores, and talked a lot, so then she asked me to be her girlfriend so I said YES, then we saw a romantic movie, and after the movie ended we had our first kiss, and she yelled “FINALLY” it was very funny. So right now I am having the time of my life with her, she has everything I was looking for.

But of course, if you were wondering if we have some problems for being a couple of the same gender … I have to say that sadly… we have. Her mom and stepdad accept us but her father doesn’t. And my mom says that she accept us but I know that is not true, and the same with my father. But we promised each other that we are gonna fight for our love, no matter what. Last night I had a little argue with my parents because of it, I am devastated but I know I will be alright because I have her.

So if you are from the LGBT community, don’t give up and at the end you’ll see it was all worth it 🙂

We are over …

Well, If you read my last post I talked about my annoying “boyfriend” … I broke up with him.

Let’s go back to last week:
An afternoon after class we went out to have lunch with his friends, when we got there I felt uncomfortable cause he and his friends were talking about stuff that I don’t really have interest so I said to myself “How can you be with someone that you got nothing to talk?”. But then a few days later I decided to break up with him.

And I got a few reasons to break up with him, and they are:

• He was a stalker.
• We didn’t had anything in common.

And the most important reason:

• I got tired of boys, I didn’t feel attracted, I want to date a girl.

So I broke up with him last Tuesday. He was very sad and he told me that now he won’t be happy again. And since I broke up he’s being trying to win me back, but he doesn’t know that I like girls, everyone knows except him and I don’t want him to know cause he’s a church guy and that will disappointing him even more. I’m doing a great work hiding it to him.

So I met this girl way before I was with him and we are pretty good friends now and she helped me with the break up but now …

TO BE CONTINUED …

Should I Give Up?

Six months ago I met this cute boy on class. I was new on class and he was my first and only friend. Then I was friends of his friends and we all hung out. We only took one class together and his studying for the same degree as me. He never had a girlfriend before (that’s pretty odd but that’s ok).

A couple weeks ago, he said that he likes me and that he wants to be more than friends. So we agreed to keep knowing each other before getting serious. He got very excited so he told everyone in our college that we are dating. But things got complicated when he got very attached. He got obsessed with me. He wants to expend all the time of the world with me. I feel suffocated. He text every 10 minutes and if I don’t answer he sends me a message on Facebook. He gets mad if I don’t go to college because he says I lose quality time with him. My friends says that he acts like that cause it’s his first relationship and that I need to talk to him. So I did. But it didn’t work. So I decided that next time I see him I’m going to talk to him again but this time I am going to tell him that if he doesn’t change we are over.

Everybody is happy that I’m dating him but nobody sees how he treats me.